Blogging Self-Doubt | Discussion

November 16, 2020 Kirsty Hanson

This blog post will probably make zero sense… Or it might make perfect sense. I don’t know. However, this post simply follows my train of thought of when I was writing about how I felt about blogging, and how I felt about my own personal blog. It was kind of hard to write because I was worried about how it would be viewed, and I was constantly thinking that no one would understand, blah blah blah. But you know what? I wrote it anyway. So, here we go…

You know that feeling when it just seems like there’s no point in anything that you do? So, this is me when it comes to blogging. You may have noticed that there are times where I don’t post for months and months, and this is just because nothing ever seems to come out of it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking at making millions by blogging, I’m not asking for millions of readers or followers… but just… something… anything. I’m not even going to lie – because this is going to be a very very honest blog post – I look at booktubers and I just think about why book bloggers aren’t as popular as booktubers? Of course, there are very popular book bloggers, but the popularity of booktubers are on a whole other level.

I tried it. I actually tried book tubing. But I felt like I had to wear makeup all the time, I felt like I had to act cheery all the time, and that ain’t me, folks. It’s why I prefer blogging. I can sit behind my laptop in my pj’s, hair up, with a face mask on, and review my latest read, or write depressing posts like this without having to put on a front. So, why don’t we get the same recognition booktubers get? I don’t know. I gave up being in front of the camera. But, I also wasn’t seeing anything come out my blogging. Sure, I worked with a few publishers here and there, but NetGalley was my lifesaver when it came to ARCs (and it still is, because I am waaaayyyyyy to anxious to actually email publishers all the time for them).

Of course, I know that people read my posts. The numbers don’t lie. I see the number of views and visitors I get a day and although they are nowhere near what I would like, it still makes me happy that SOME people are reading. I guess this is where the snowball effect of my anxiety kicks in? I start to think: am I shit at blogging? What am I doing wrong? Am I engaging enough? I don’t have the answers to these questions, and I doubt that I ever will. I could probably talk more about books on my Twitter and promote more… but… sometimes I just don’t feel like. Most of the time, I just want to retweet funny memes or talk about politics.

It’s this lack of consumer interaction that makes me feel like no one cares. Again, is this my anxiety talking? 100%. But, I’m in a venting mood. That’s why every comment on a post, every like, every retweet, every follow… It’s so important to smaller bloggers like me. Read a blog post and enjoyed it? Make a comment. Found the link to a review on social media, and read the review? Like the link. I cannot tell you how much it means. And no, Mum, this is discounting you because I know you do this anyway.

But yeah, this blog post is kinda all over the place, moaning about things here and there. I was just in the middle of writing a book tag and thought to myself: ‘who is even going to read this?’, ‘who even cares?’, and so I just had to write a post talking about how much self-doubt I have when it comes to my blogging.

I will probably carry on doing it, because I love talking about books, and I’ve been blogging for about 4 years now(?), and don’t want to stop.

Hey, you never know. The blog could take off at some point. People might start talking about it (in a positive way, I hope), and I don’t know… I guess we’ll have to wait and see.